FHE: Heavenly Mother

The topic: A few weeks ago, El-ahrairah chose to have a lesson about Heavenly Mother because of the new "Mother in Heaven" Gospel Topics Essay that the Church released recently.

Resources: Along with reading the Gospel Topics Essay, we looked at this article that was one of my readings for the Marriage Prep class I took at BYU: “A Mother There”: A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven. I also referenced it in Board Question 79478. I highly recommend reading the entire article, but here's an overview:

In this paper, we will share important historical accounts that cast serious doubt on the specific claims that, first, a sacred silence has always surrounded this treasured Mormon doctrine and that, second, Heavenly Mother’s ascribed roles have been marginalized or trivialized. With respect to the second claim, we will share historical portrayals of Heavenly Mother as procreator and parent, as a divine person, as co-creator of worlds, as coframer of the plan of salvation with the Father, and as a concerned and loving parent involved in our mortal probation.

Also, during our discussion I was reminded of this quote from Elder Erastus Snow that we discussed in that same Marriage Prep class:

“What,” says one, “do you mean we should understand that Deity consists of man and woman?” Most certainly I do. If I believe anything that God has ever said about himself, and anything pertaining to the creation and organization of man upon the earth, I must believe that Deity consists of man and woman. ....

... I sometimes illustrate this matter by taking up a pair of shears, if I have one, but then you all know they are composed of two halves, but they are necessarily parts, one of another, and to perform their work for each other, as designed, they belong together, and neither one of them is fitted for the accomplishment of their works alone. And for this reason says St. Paul, 'the man is not without the woman, nor the woman without the man in the Lord.' In other words, there can be no God except he is composed of the man and woman united, and there is not in all the eternities that exist, nor ever will be, a God in any other way. I have another description: There never was a God, and there never will be in all eternities, except they are made of these two component parts; a man and a woman; the male and the female.

What we learned: Overall, it was just great to review what we know about Heavenly Mother and specifically her nature as a divine being. We talked about how that relates to the divine roles of women. And I thought about how all women are mothers—Eve was named "the mother of all living" before she even bore any children.

Challenge: Remembering the eternal nature and purpose of our lives and our marriage helps us to treat each other nicely. It puts our problems in perspective. If I want to complain about something or pick a fight, considering how my problem fits into the grand scheme of things helps me to approach El-ahrairah more charitably and reasonably.

FHE: Power of the Atonement

The topic: I've been reading a lot of stories about tragedy and loss lately, and while I appreciate that these stories help me empathize, it can really get me down. And crying gives me a headache. I chose to do the lesson on the Atonement to learn more about how Christ can heal those who have been through so much pain, and to be comforted by His love for our brothers and sisters.

Resources: 

Mormon Message Video - Forgiveness: My Burden Was Made Light

This video is about a man whose pregnant wife and two of their children were killed in a drunk-driving accident. This is my favorite part:

"For the first few months after the accident, I felt, I think it was just the initial shock that such a huge part of my life was now gone. And that's a very difficult thing to go through, to kneel down and desire to speak to my Father in Heaven when I'm so lonely or when I'm so anguished. It's an interesting conversation to have. He doesn't immediately try and make it better. He listens to me first. And I thought that was very helpful. He allowed me to get that anger off my chest. But inevitably He would always come back and teach me about His son, Jesus Christ.When I did feel anger, or there was just a deep sense of loneliness, I didn't direct that at the person that had caused this. It directed itself at the Savior."

Isaiah 53:3-5:

3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief: and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

 4 Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

 5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

I also just noticed that the General Conference talk Strengthened by the Atonement of Jesus Christ is on the homepage of lds.org. In this talk, Elder Oaks speaks of  the burdens of mortality and how Christ can succor those who suffer. It's awesome.

What We Learned: Whew. A lot. I was particularly impressed with the reminder that anger, sorrow, and all other emotions can actually be swallowed up in Christ. As the man in the video spoke of giving his anger to the Savior, I thought of the experience of punching a pillow when you're mad. You don't punch the person you're mad at, you don't punch a wall—those things just hurt more. You find something that can take it, something soft that can absorb all that force. And, if you direct the insurmountable fear, frustration, and grief at Jesus Christ, he can take it all. His Atonement can handle it. It can handle anything! I don't feel that I can express here how much that means to me right now. I couldn't express it during the lesson either—I ended up crying again and just kind of hoped El-ahrairah knew what I meant. (He did.)

Honestly, the intensity of my emotions while discussing this totally floored me. There are a lot of difficult things going on in the Church and in the world quite recently; like many people, I have questions and concerns to work out and haven't been feeling so good about things lately. But having this opportunity to examine and share my understanding of the love and Atonement of Jesus Christ was surprisingly powerful, and I'm grateful for that experience.

Challenge: This is the challenge every day of mortality, to remember Christ and His ability to strengthen us. Remembering that He is at the heart of everything we believe and hope for.

This is a painting of Jesus Christ with a girl, Baylee, who passed away on Sunday. (Source)

Date: Temple Night

A few months ago, we decided that our ideal goal for temple attendance would be once every two weeks. We certainly haven't made that goal every time, but I'm pretty content that our frequency since then hasn't dropped below once a month. Some weeks ago, Owlet asked if I wanted to go to the temple the next day. Of course I wanted to, but I felt that I was too busy with homework to go, so I said I'd rather go another time. But the next day I was a little overwhelmed with one of my labs, and managed to waste pretty much the entire day as a result. I realized that what I really needed wasn't time, but the perspective and discipline to focus. Without that, I might find it increasingly difficult to get anything done. In other words, I didn't have time not to go to the temple.

So after work we drove the half-mile to the Provo temple, and Owlet enjoyed her first taste of chicken-fried steak in the temple cafeteria. And the endowment session was very nice. I remember almost falling asleep only once, learning something deep that I've forgotten by now, and having a sweet experience together with Owlet. 

So, was it worth it? Spiritually and emotionally, I definitely think so. Temporally, the following week I was able to focus on my labs and projects much better than I had since the beginning of the semester. I'm sure I saved at least twice as much time as I invested. I hadn't really connected my new-found efficiency to my temple attendance until now, but I bet there's a connection. Yay temples! Thanks for the great date, sweetheart!

-El-ahrairah

The Danger of Having Two Google Chat Windows Open

... is that you might get your TA confused with your wife!

-Owlet (thanks to El-ahrairah for sharing your embarrassing moment with us)

Pickled Husbands

I've recently acquired a taste for pickles. Although I don't necessarily choose to eat them plain yet, I do enjoy them on sandwiches, burgers, and hot dogs. That's a big change from my childhood, when I hated even the smallest bits of pickle in my food. Besides eating a delicious Cuban pork and pickle sandwich yesterday,

Courtesy Zupa's deliciousness and Owlet's great taste in restaurants

I was recently reminded of pickles by the scripture I've been pondering this week, D&C 42:22:

Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.

I've claimed to love my wife with all my heart before, but I realized that's not quite true. I want to love my wife with all my heart. I definitely love her with a lot of my heart. But whenever I let myself be distracted when Owlet's talking to me, or procrastinate homework that would help me eventually support our family, or do anything that doesn't put her first (that is, right after the Savior), I'm not loving her with all my heart.

Luckily, I think I'm still a pretty good husband. And loving Owlet with all my heart is definitely my goal, albeit one that will probably take me a long time to reach. So how do I convert my heart to be Owlet's? This is where the pickles come in. In 2007, Elder Bednar gave an excellent talk titled "Ye Must Be Born Again," wherein he taught us the Parable of the Pickle. His goal was to describe our conversion into followers of Christ, but I think becoming a better husband to my wife is an essential part of that process.

The process of pickling both cucumbers and husbands involves three steps: preparing and cleaning, immersing and saturating, and purifying and sealing. I'm done with the first step—I prepared spiritually and otherwise to marry my wife for all time in the temple, although I certainly need to stay clean and re-clean. As for saturating, Elder Bednar said:

The spiritual rebirth described in this verse typically does not occur quickly or all at once; it is an ongoing process—not a single event. Line upon line and precept upon precept, gradually and almost imperceptibly, our motives, our thoughts, our words, and our deeds become aligned with the will of God [and in harmony with Owlet]. This phase of the transformation process requires time, persistence, and patience.... 

Sporadic and shallow dipping ... cannot produce the spiritual transformation that enables us to walk in a newness of life [or a newness of wife]. Rather, fidelity to covenants, constancy of commitment, and offering our whole soul unto God [and whole heart to Owlet] are required if we are to receive the blessings of eternity.

It's not easy to immerse myself in the service and love of my wife and family so constantly. Actually, it's not easy for me to do anything so constantly. Except maybe eat. But as I try, I'll get better at it, and become more converted to loving my wife. God will purge me of my selfish and weak impurities, purify me, and seal me to live with my wife in our eternal pickle jar forever.

-El-ahrairah

Harry Potter Party

For Halloween(ish), we threw a Harry Potter Party!

-Owlet

FHE: Inclusion

The topic: Last week for Family Home Evening, El based his lesson on this article which discusses the principle of inclusion in the Church.

Resources: We read the entire article together, but here are some of my favorite parts:

...as an entry point to my topic I want to describe a negative experience I had in the missionary training center. We had fairly regular meetings with general authorities of the church, and it was typical in those meetings for a choir to perform a song or two. My boys can tell you that I like to sing, but they can also probably tell you that I’m not especially good at it. Certainly I have no training, nor can I read music. But I decided to join the choir one week with my companion (who actually was a good singer). Early in the first practice, the choir leader said something about how baritones should sing this part, and basses should sing that part. I leaned over to my companion who was seated next to me and said “What should I do? I’m not sure if I’m a baritone or a bass.” At this point a missionary seated in front of me turned around with a scornful look on his face and said “If you don’t know that, then what are you doing here?” 

I’m sure you can imagine how I felt. But I’m not telling you the story so you can feel sorry for me and my hurt feelings. And in fairness, the missionary had a point. But I want you to think about the message he was delivering: You do not belong here.

If we want to be more empathetic toward people who struggle with faith, or more forgiving of ourselves when our own faith falters, a good place to start is to recognize that the Lord appears to have intended for us to struggle. In church culture we like to use the language of certainty: we are taught to say that we know the church is true, and we like words like “perfect” and “firm” and “unshakeable.” But, in my opinion, an honest assessment of our relationship with God must admit that it involves a great deal of mystery and uncertainty and confusion. We’re told that if we’re unsure, we can just ask Him in prayer to tell us it’s true. But for many of us the answers to such prayers don’t come easily; inspirations, if and when they finally come, may be “dimly perceived” and difficult to interpret. I recently read a commentator who suggested we understand this not as evidence of God’s indifference, but as a way in which God poses the important question: “What will you do now?” 

...we should want everyone to be here, and we should want everyone to feel welcome here. Did Christ associate only with the faithful? He ministered to believers and unbelievers, to the sinful and to the repentant. You may say “Well – he was the Son of God, so his testimony was too strong to be shaken by anyone’s unbelief.” But I suggest an alternative: he was the Son of God, so his love was too strong to be shaken by anyone’s unbelief. 

Another threat to our sense of belonging is a perception that we’re not as righteous or as spiritual as everyone else. Ours is a church with many programs and prescriptions, many dos and many don’ts. It’s hard to keep up with all the things we’re supposed to be doing, and easy to feel like we’re not measuring up – especially if it seems like everyone else in the ward is doing everything right.

El-ahrairah also shared 3 Nephi 12:1-2:

 1 And it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words unto Nephi, and to those who had been called, (now the number of them who had been called, and received power and authority to baptize, was twelve) and behold, he stretched forth his hand unto the multitude, and cried unto them, saying: Blessed are ye if ye shall give heed unto the words of these twelve whom I have chosen from among you to minister unto you, and to be your servants; and unto them I have given power that they may baptize you with water; and after that ye are baptized with water, behold, I will baptize you with fire and with the Holy Ghost; therefore blessed are ye if ye shall believe in me and be baptized, after that ye have seen me and know that I am.
 2 And again, more blessed are they who shall believe in your words because that ye shall testify that ye have seen me, and that ye know that I am. Yea, blessed are they who shall believe in your words, and come down into the depths of humility and be baptized, for they shall be visited with fire and with the Holy Ghost, and shall receive a remission of their sins.

What we learned: I learned that I have a lot of pride and don't like being told that I'm doing something wrong unless I recognize it myself first. The talk was strongly worded, and a good reminder for me to consider many perspectives. I especially liked how the speaker discussed empathy; that's a life skill that I would consider in, like, the top five of all life skills for being a good person. I think it's valuable to consider all the many paths one can take to arrive at a conclusion, and then realize that you can't really know which of the infinite paths a person took, so all you can do is validate and empathize.

This is what El said: "One of the things I liked about the talk was that it encouraged us to recognize that the gospel doesn't come easily to everyone and sometimes it's not as instantly believe-able as we'd like to have people think. For those for whom it easy, great, but Jesus said blessed are they that believe in your words. So we're blessed if we believe without as much witness as other people have."

Challenge: One thing we want to work on is making sure we're being reasonably candid about the struggles we face with the purpose of helping others feel they can relate to and belong with us. (For example, bragging less about good things and being honest about things we don't understand.)

Photoshop & Scriptures

I've been spending a lot of time with Photoshop trying to practice design and stuff. What better way to practice than to use my weekly scriptures (my ponderize verses, if you will)? I've also been practicing with some of my favorite quotes and phrases.

-Owlet